After separation or divorce, parents may become understandably focused on how many days or overnights they are entitled to per the terms of a parenting plan. Yet, it’s important for all involved to understand that meaningful time with children does not always have to occur during officially scheduled parenting time.
With a commitment to creativity, co-parents may regularly find additional opportunities to stay involved in their children’s everyday lives.
Ideas to get co-parents started down a pathway forward
Parents of younger children may consider visiting school for lunch when school policies permit doing so. Twenty or thirty minutes together in the middle of the day can become a special routine without changing one’s parenting schedule. Volunteering at school, attending classroom events and chaperoning field trips can create similar opportunities for connection.
Extracurricular activities offer another possibility. Attending soccer games, dance recitals, concerts or practices can help parents remain present even when an event occurs during the other parent’s scheduled time. Parents should respect appropriate boundaries, however, and avoid turning children’s activities into opportunities for conflict.
Co-parents can also consider offering care during each other’s time a practical form of flexibility. If your former spouse needs childcare during their parenting time, for example, you might offer to watch the children rather than having them hire a babysitter. Some parenting plans even include a “right of first refusal” provision addressing when a parent should have the opportunity to provide childcare before a third party is contacted.
When co-parents focus less on keeping score and more on identifying healthy opportunities for involvement, children may benefit from having both parents remain meaningfully active participants in their everyday lives.