The end of a marriage often takes many people by total surprise if it was their spouse’s decision rather than a mutual one. Bearing in mind that this might come as a big shock to them, it’s important to think about how best to tell them.
There is no standard way to tell a spouse the marriage is over. What you can do, though, is think about the best way to get the message across clearly. If you are certain of your decision, then they need to understand that this is it. If your way of putting it is too weak, such as “I think we should take a break,” it may give them the impression that you are not serious or that they can change your mind.
Be prepared for how they might react
Some spouses will have questions on hearing the news. Others might reel off a list of reasons about why this is the wrong decision or why you’ll regret it or break down in tears. Others still might pick up the nearest object and fling it, possibly in your direction. You know your spouse, so you may be able to anticipate how they will react.
If it’s just going to be an attempt to persuade you otherwise, maybe decide beforehand that you will not get pulled in and will firmly communicate your message. Then leave the house for a bit. If it’s a violent reaction you fear, you might choose to give the message in a place you feel safe, such as in a public place with friends nearby or over the phone from a friend’s house.
Seeking early legal guidance can help you prepare for situations that arise now or as you move forward with your divorce.