Handing over your children to their other parent can potentially be one of the most stressful events as a divorced parent. While the custody and parenting time schedules will dictate when and how often these exchanges take place, these are often the only occasions the two parents come into contact with each other.
There are several things you can do to make these transitions easier.
Think about the best place to do it
The location is worth giving careful thought to. In more extreme cases, this is because one parent has a history of aggressive behavior, so choosing a public place increases safety for the other parent and the children. Another reason where location can cause a problem is if one parent is living with a new partner. They might not want to put their new and old partners into unnecessary contact yet.
Often, however, it is just about finding a location that works well for both parents and the children. If it’s a location other than one parent’s home, it’s wise to make sure parking is available in case it’s necessary to wait.
Consider timing
If either parent or any of the children need to be somewhere at a certain time soon after the handover, it adds an element of tension. The end of the day is often better than earlier in the day for this reason, as most people have their appointments out of the way by then, meaning a delay will be less consequential.
Limit what happens
The handover is not the time to discuss problems or matters that could cause friction. Doing so could raise the chance that the children will witness their parents losing their cool or saying something hurtful or rude to each other. It is better to discuss such things at another time, when the children will not hear. Otherwise, they might start to dread upcoming handovers.
Thinking about handovers when you are creating your custody and parenting plan, and perhaps setting down some rules, can help pave the way for a smoother experience.