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How can you successfully coparent with a hostile ex?

On Behalf of | Apr 12, 2022 | Child Custody

After a particularly hostile divorce, you may not know how to co-exist with your children’s other parent. When co-parenting, you have to figure out a solution quickly to make the arrangement work.

According to Psychology Today, your children need to see you and your former spouse as secure and stable. Hostility gives the opposite impression.

Move forward with your feelings

You have to let go of your feelings before you can work amicably with your ex. Do not take every action or word as a personal attack against you. You do not need to talk about emotions with your ex. Be your child’s advocate, but do not let yourself wrap up in old feelings.

Even if your spouse begins to act hostile, try to focus on the goal. If your ex tries to derail a conversation, put it back on track. Do not discuss your relationship or breakup. Always bring the conversation back to the children.

Treat your spouse how you expect treatment back

Even if you have negative feelings about your ex, you do not need to express them to his or her face. Instead, talk professionally. Treat your ex how you want him or her to treat you. People are more likely to act professionally when you set the tone for the relationship. Keep your boundaries intact, so you do not have to worry about fighting or arguing.

Keep in mind that no matter why you broke up, your children never need to hear the two of you fighting. Children exposed to fighting may try to choose sides or see their parents as unstable or insecure.